Another story to do with Nuts

Gav was walking past rows and rows of trees, slowly admiring the each and everyone of them. Gav had been to the grove many times. When the nut trees were flowering, when they were bearing nuts, and when they were bare. Each time he walked through the grove it gave him a different feeling.

This season had been a surprisingly cold winter. Gav could almost see the trees shivering, although he knew it was the just strong North wind blowing. He inspected the bark of the younger almond trees. They had hardly seen many years in their lifetime, but they bore the marks of the harshness they had to suffer in their younger days. The village had gone through some tough times, and the trees bore witness to that.

Not many people knew, but the almond is from the rose family. It also is a close relation of the peach. No one ever believed him when he took his dusty botanical tome of the shelf and showed them, they would say, "It's a nut, Gavin, how can it be a rose? Or peach? Silly Gavin, silly."

Gav was always partial to those almond nuts. He remembered the golden times, where she used to sit with him in the middle of the grove and talk about everything under sun. Those times though past, still evoked a warm feeling in Gav. Despite the cold, Gav felt warm amongst the trees.

"Just like a grove full of roses..."

You can bend, and break too...

The people I truly worry about are always the strong ones.

Because you want to solve all your problems yourself. Because when you refuse to break, I worry about what the toll is to keep yourself together. Because when carrying on becomes a responsibility, I wonder what you have left. For yourself.

I am a strong one too.

A story of Nuts

Stole the following from someone who will always hold a special place in my heart.

You won't understand how much it hurts, even till now.

***************

The season for nuts is over.

At the beginning of each season there's definitely a great number of nuts all around. Everywhere you went you found nuts.

You had various kinds of nuts, from the really small ones to the huge ones. You had the sweet ones and the salty ones. All types and kinds to be had.

Now there are no nuts left? What happened? Well, the season is over. Arguably a great big storm came and it killed the batch of nuts. Half of the nuts just disappeared and the other half is slowly disappearing. Soon we will have none left.

Will there be a next season? Some old folks would tell you that there will always be a new season for nuts, but us younger folk believe that the time of nuts is over. There will be no more nuts. Eventually the tall nut trees and low nut vines will disappear. They will all wither and die away.

Amongst the villagers we argue as to whether to burn down the trees and move on to another crop, or to just try and keep the trees alive in hopes that there can be more nuts again. The prospects do not look good. Half of our holdings have been devastated. There seems almost no hope of regrowth in that part. With half of the trees dead, the other half almost seems like it is just giving up. Sometimes there'll be good days and new green leaves will sprout, and everyone will be cautiously optimistic. Too often it's a false alarm and the leaves turn brown and fall down.

No longer do we wake up to birds chirping, or to squirrels scurrying around. Even the animals are gone or leaving. Nothing is left. Looking at the fields is like looking at a desolate wasteland. In this empty space hope dies and death reigns. Should we even continue to stay on here or move to another place? We, as a village, are unsure. New crops or a new place would mean having to start over. Going through the same painstaking efforts. To nurture and to look after.

I hope that there will be another nut season. Where nuts are aplenty and joy fills the fields and homes. For now, we can only wait and see. Let us just hope that we do not die with those dying fields.

***************

I miss you so terribly, and reading this coming from you, I am really really more lost.

You know, these nuts season can never never come back anymore, even if you could work your magic and go through the same painstaking efforts, the nuts season is over.

Over and done with. There will never be a season for nuts anymore.

Sometimes, love just ain't enough.

The sentence says it all.

Rain

Some days, you just feel melancholic.

That evening, it rained. Dark gloomy clouds hung above my head, raindrops falling, forming puddles of water.

I had my shawl wrapped around me, and I just stood watching the rain from my office balcony, with my eyes closed, listening to the pitter patter of the raindrops, the howling wind, and cool air caressing my face.

I pushed away all thoughts, letting them flee from me, clearing my cluttered mind, just concentrating on the symphony of the music from nature.

With every exhale of deep slow breaths, I felt better.

I opened my eyes, and took a good look around me. The streets were deserted, the neighbouring buildings all gray and wet. Everything was still, apart from the occassional sweeping of leaves on the pavements from the swirling wind.

And, suddenly, I attained this magical moment, a moment of real serenity and peace. For that brief minute, I was at peace with myself. At peace with everything, an emotion of calmness.

I clinged on, not wanting this feeling to leave, but sadly, it went as fast as it came.

But I know, whatever hit me that day, I will never forget and will treasure it even if I won't ever feel it again.

A little bittle-sweet smile on her face, and this lady in her blue shawl lit a cigarette, just watching the rain go by.

Here she goes..

When you keep on telling yourself, it will be okay, it will be alright, you can make yourself believe so.

When you see yourself as strong willed and a heart of steel, there really can be a circle around your heart.

When you embrace the belief you can walk away without a hint of sadness or pain, you really can walk away with your head up high.

It might be all lies to yourself or avoiding any issues, but at least the pain is minimised.

Forced happiness is better than non-happiness, right?

And as time goes by, you really become the person you made yourself believe you will be.

I am, who am I?

Violation

31st October, Halloween, a date I will never forget.

The day I wanted to cry, and had no tears.

The day I smsed Emeline late, wanting to reach out to someone and pour it out, yet know it should be bottled in.

The day, I was trampled on like dirt.

The day, my first scariest experience.

I know, I will never be the same again.