Missing You

I heard from a friend you were back. I froze momentarily. My mind went through a whirlwind down memory lane.

You, did not tell me.
You, have not kept in touch with me ever since ......
You, gave me sweet promises of care and love.
You, wanted to bring me to the famous pancake place on my birthday.
You, wanted to give me your fraternity badge and ring.
You, promised me a lifetime of Paddle Pop ice-cream and sang me the silly jingle. "Paddle pop, paddle pop, super nice and yummy."
You, wanted to buy me an almond tree.
You, spoke of everlasting love and painted me the most pretty picture of a life together.
You, you whom I once loved without a single doubt.

I, the silly one smiling over the phone when you asked if I love you.
I, the one who led another life with you away from my friends and him.
I, cried and nearly flew thousand of miles just to be there with you when you had an accident.
I, nearly dropped everything including him just so we can be together.
I, never one to be foolish, actually believed you with undying faith.
I, finally saw through you that fateful day and yet I, wished I never did.

You, killed me.
My trust in people can never be whole.
My unconditional love can never grow back.

You, taught me the most painful lesson in love and life.
That being naive, trusting, and love can never get me far.

I, killed myself.
I pretended nothing was wrong, I put on a brave front and told you I was fine.
You, uttered the most horrible words from the very same mouth that gave me sweet promises.
I, kept quiet and cried.

I, said a nonchalant goodbye.
You, said nothing.
Your silence were like a dozen arrows.
You, hurt me.
You, never once knew my tears.
You, never had a taste of my inward bitterness.

You, I, just two strangers never meant to be.

You, someone I will always miss for the rest of my living days.

I, never existed before in your life.

You, and I, how different.

Your coming back means the world to me, yet means nothing as well.